


Deal?

by The_Book_Thief



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Delinquents, Dog - Freeform, F/M, First Kiss, Healing, Love, Mention of Bina, Sharing a Bed, Thoughts about Bellarke, canonverse, happiness, s4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:31:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Book_Thief/pseuds/The_Book_Thief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is ending and maybe is time to do whatever the hell they want but.... Will they do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deal?

 

It's only been a month since Alie said the words that would condemn them, the words that would break their hopes: "By my calculation, in less than 6 months, 96% of the Earth's surface will be uninhabitable"

After this, a meeting between the leaders of each clan took place. Tension, uncertainty, fear... they couldn't do anything beyond try to work together and put their differences aside. It was the Earth vs them.

This news prompted many reactions. Many didn't want to accept what was happening, others entered panic mode, a large number decided to take advantage of those 6 months and a fourth group wanted to face the problem.

 

* * *

 

One more month, one less, depending on how you look at it. For Clarke was one less. She had spent one month trying to figure what to do. Days surrounded by maps, hours studying the mechanics of reactors, minutes making calculations of area of land and just seconds resting. She was not living but she had to do it, she had to fight for saving her people because that's what she is.... and because she loves them.

She knows that she screwed up, she left them when they needed her the most. It wasn't about being a leader, it was simply a matter of being a good friend, and she wasn't.... but she is trying to fix it. They're her family on the ground, and families almost always work out their problems.

She is also trying to fix herself. After they were settled in Arkadia, she asked her mom to cut her hair and she searched clothes. She didn't want that weird hairdo and those uncomfortable clothes. She was running from her pain and she didn't realize she changed not only mentally, but physically. She looked like a grounder.

Now, her hair is just under the shoulders. Her face is softly framed by natural waves. She wears stretch pants and a light blue t-shirt. Light blue, like the sky.

She is trying to be Clarke again.

 

* * *

 

It was a cold night and Bellamy was propped against a tree, like most nights, watching life go by. After his mistakes and everything what he did to survive, he was going to die in six months. Their constant struggle..... was it worth it? Is it worth it?

He looked over to the left. In the distance he could see his friends drinking, talking and if he kept looking, probably, he could see them laughing.

He saw it, happiness. The world is crumbling around them but they have each other. He has them too. They are like a family, they survived together. The guilt was replaced by warmth when he was with them. Eventually he had begun to understand that they need him as much as he needs them. They're the motive to keep fighting. He has killed for them, he'd die for them, but now, while he's seeing them together and smiling , all he can think about is he would live for them and with them.

Living.... It sounds like an utopia.

Having a family. He has it. They don't share blood, but they share what little they have, they protect and support each other.

The only person who has his same blood beat him up and left him and, even with this, he can't hate her. He doesn't know how to feel about that. Betrayed, scared for her, sad, angry... but he is sure he will never hate her.

Maybe having a couple too, something like Gina.

Gina.

He is healing but he will always remember her. Gina was his salvation, the one who brought normality to his life. He didn't love her like the couples love each other but still, he loved her, it's just, when he looked at her, he didn't feel what it must feel. It's not like when he looks at....at her....at Clarke. He could look at her for hours until memorizing every detail of her.

She.

She is his person.

She is not perfect, she hurt him when she left and she is too stubborn, which gets on his nerves (he, secretly, adores it though) but he's deeply in love with her.

He don't know when it's happened, but he's in love with the girl who saw in him the good man that he is.

She is the only one who trusted him when no one else did, didn't judge him and saw beyond. She was the first person in more than 15 years that took a weight off his shoulders and he will never forget that moment, is etched into his mind and remembers it like it was yesterday. It was the first time she killed someone and did it so he wouldn't have to. He has made many mistakes but also has felt alone and lost and after all she has been the only one who has asked him if he's ok and has given him the hug that he needs. She knows how much blood there is on his hands and still keeps trusting him with her life.

He was so engrossed in his thoughts that didn't hear that someone was coming.

 

* * *

 

Clarke came out of that poky little room that she had transformed into a kind of "study room" where she spent hours. The only thing she figured out was they need to find the speck of land corresponding to 4%. Deactivating reactors was impossible task. In other words, they was fucked.

She was tired, so tired that she was feeling poorly, she was cold and her head was going to explode.... but she needed some fresh air before bed. When she came out, she saw that her friends were having a good time and a kind of pride and love flooded her chest.

Jasper and Monty were joking with Harper, they were friends again. Jasper is really strong, she thought. Maybe more than me. There he was, after overcoming a mental illness and he was smiling more than anyone.

Miller and Brian were there too, they were sitting next to each other. They look happy and there is a glimmer of hope in their eyes, even when there is no reasons.... or maybe having love is one of them.

And last, Raven. Clarke admired her. She'd been through a lot but she still had strength. She doesn't know what she would do without her. She needs her, like friend and like the amazing girl whose brain solves every problem. Without her, they'd be dead. She deserves being happy. All of them deserve it.

She was about to go to sleep when she saw him. Bellamy was under a tree. He looked like thoughtful, like always. He thinks too much. 

Before realizing, she was walking towards him.

 

* * *

 

"Hey"

He came out of his self-absorption. "Hey, how was your day?" He said while motioned for her to sit beside him.

"Busy" she answered.

Bellamy gave her a half smile and finished her phrase "Like always"

She was going to frown and rebut it but instead she couldn't help smiling. He knew her too well.

She settled at his side. Their shoulders are touching. The comfort, the support, the knowledge that they're here, alive, together, the one for each other, like always.

Well, like almost always... 

She turns her face toward him.

Even in the night, she can see every scar. There is no marks on his skin but the blows that his sister gave him, are there, dormant. He lived for her, he took care of her each second of his life, he protected her with his life and she hit him until he fell to the ground. Clarke knows how you feel when you lose someone important to you, but she would never do that. He wanted to help, he rectified, Lincoln was his friend too. Bellamy don't deserve what his sister did.

but.... she has the right to talk about hurting people?

She left him, two times. She chose to be alone, and then chose to stay in Polis surrounded by flamboyancy. She thought that was the only one who was broken, but she was wrong and as a result she hurt him. Nevertheless, he's still here, at her side. She wonders why but, really, knows it. He is different from these people that she usually trusts. He would never betray her.

And now, staring at him, she would wish to have the power to heal his scars, to erase his pain and to make him happy..... but she doesn't have it.

 

[.....]

 

Minutes later, they are still enjoying the silence. It never was awkward for them.

A cold breeze kicks up, Clarke shrinks and Bellamy, obviously, notices it. "You ok? Are you cold?"

"No....Well, a little bit, but no matter, I'm -" She has not finished her phrase when Bellamy was wrapping his jacket around her shoulders.

"Better?"

She nods. "Thank you, I forgot my jacket. To tell you the truth, I think I lost it"

"Anyway, I can't believe that you can hunt a panther but you are a disaster" says him with a big and ironic smile.

Clarke strikes his chest affectionately. "Hey, I'm not a disaster" She tries to play the offended one, but she can't. A smile appears on her face.

Suddenly, shouts of excitement. Their friends are pointing the sky. A shooting star.

They are looking at the sky and without looking at him, Clarke asks him: "Now, do you know what you would wish for?

Bellamy smiles at the memory and looks at her. The shine in her eyes, her soft waves over his jacket, that beauty mark on her lip, her relaxed expression.... Now, he knows it. He's sure of what he wants but he can't have it. He looks at the sky again. His voice is almost to a whisper. "I guess so". He clears his throat, "What's about you? he says, turning toward her.

She frowns, Bellamy knows she always does that when she is concentrating. Clarke is really thinking about that but, honestly, after all what she has lived, she doesn't know it. She begins to turn her face toward him while says "I don't know what...." The rest of the sentence dies on her mouth. Bellamy was a few centimeters away from her lips. She didn't expect it. Neither does he.

They stayed like that, frozen, breathing the same air. Bellamy couldn't restrain himself, inevitably, his gaze dropped to her lips. She swallowed. They stared at each other. His eyes were warm and sincere. His look was so transparent and deep that she got lost in them. Suddenly, Clarke had an idea about what she could wish.

A laugh brought them back to the reality. Their friends were going to the bed.

"Well... It's late...You...You should go to sleep too"

"I need to finish a few calculations and also I'm not tired" she said with a yawn.

"No, of course, you're not. Clarke, come on, you need to rest"

She ignored him and got up. "Good night, Bellamy"

"Ok, wait. You can do it but let me help you so you can finish your damn calculations more quickly and you can rest. Ok?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ok, if you insist"

"I was not insisting" he said with a half-smile.

"Don't make me regret" and, that said, she started to walk.

Clarke heard a laugh behind her.

 

* * *

 

"Like I said....A disaster" Bellamy said, looking at the study room.

She shrugged, rummage through her stuff. "I understand my mess"

In the corner there was a armchair, more like a chaise longue and when she found the map, they sat down. It wasn't overly big. They could be laid out but it was not wide enough for maintaining a clear separation between them, so she could feel his body stuck to her. She tried to concentrate and began to explain him the map, calculation of area of land, distances......

"Let me analyze it"

"Ok" Another yawn came from her. "It's ok"

Bellamy smelled so good. He smelled like wood and pine. His body gave off an enveloping warmth and she was still wearing his jacket. She felt so comfortable, calm and secure that her eyes began to close and unconsciously, she rested her head on his shoulder.

Few minutes later, a doubt assailed him. "Mmm... Clarke, what's this?"

There is no answer.

"Clarke?"

Again, there is no answer. She had fallen asleep.

He stared at her. She is so beautiful. It's not the first time that he looks at her while she is asleep but this time is different. He knows what he feels. All he wants is to love her and to make her happy, but he can't. He tries to push that thought away from his mind and focuses on the map again, but now he can't concentrate. He values if he would be able to move without waking her up but he doubts it, leaving him no choice but to stay there until tomorrow. It will be a long night, he thinks.

2 minutes later, Bellamy is asleep too.

 

* * *

 

"Good morning, lovebirds. Bellamy, Kane needs you"

Bellamy opened his eyes and could see how Roan was leaving the room.

They had fallen asleep together and must have moved because Clarke is on top off him. She was breathing down his neck, her head rested on his chest and her arm was around his abdomen. Their legs were in a tangle and his hand rested on her back, on her lower back. Bellamy has forgotten how to breath.

"Clarke..... Eh...Clarke, wake up"

She makes a noise and moves more close, rubbing softly her lips against his neck. A chill runs up his spinal cord. If he could, he would wake her up with kisses and caresses every morning but it's not the case so ...

"Clarke?" He raises a bit the tone of his voice and this time it seems that works.

"Mmm... What's up?" She finally opens her eyes and she wish she hadn't. Bellamy and her were one person. Their bodies were totally pressed against each other.

She got up and began to stutter. "I'm sorry....I didn't... I....It's my fault"

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault. No matter ok?"

She nodded, not quite sure.

"Kane needs me, I'll see you later" He kissed her forehead and vanished out of her sight.

Clarke sat down. She could still feel his lips on her forehead. It is the first time she sleeps all the night, without waking up, without nightmares and was because of him, because of Bellamy. He always makes her life easier. She had slept so well, too well.

She looked at the clock. It was time to start working

 

* * *

 

It was a cool afternoon and Abby had forced her to take time off, so she decided to walk. People usually love to think or reflect while they are walking but she is not that kind of person. She loves enjoying the view, colors, sounds...

Clarke closed her eyes. A stream. A bird. The wind through the trees. A dog.

Wait. Was that a bark? No, she must be mistaken, it was definitely her imagination.

But no, it not was a figment of her imagination. A medium sized dog jumped out from behind a tree. She couldn't believe it.

Bellamy appeared before him.

"Bellamy, this is a dog?!" She didn't know if it was a question or she needed to convince herself.

"Yeah, he is"

"But..."

He looked so happy. "Well Clarke, this is the Earth. There are two headed deers, glowing butterflys and now, dogs"

Clarke bent down and caressed him, he barked and wagged his tail bringing a smile to her face but that smile disappeared when she noticed that he was in the bones.

"Bellamy, this dog needs to eat, the rations are nonetheless controlled, we could...."

He cut in. "Clarke, he already ate"

There's a question on her face

"I gave him my ration of today.... and of tomorrow too"

Clarke was going to reply but she didn't, instead she looked at him with love. That's who he is and that's why she loves him.

Raven appeared out of nowhere and her face was priceless. She almost screamed. "A dog! This is a dog! Can we adopt him?"

"He is already one of us" and that quote of Bellamy is what Raven needed.

"I'm going to give him water" and that said, she took the dog in her arms and left with a big smile on her face. 

Raven's smile makes the world a better place

 

[......]

 

They were alone again and for first time the silence became tense.

"Well..."

"Well..."

"We should get going. Roan has called a meeting" he said, trying to fill the silence, and, absent-mindedly, he tried to pick a piece of lint off her t-shirt.

Only to feel his hand on her side and she exploded into a guffaw.

Clarke has several weak points. One of them is Bellamy Blake and another are the tickling, and mix them is not a good idea... or maybe it is.

He looked at her, between funny and surprised. "Clarke, what...?" but he didn't need an answer. A triumphant and wicked smile crossed his face.

"Bellamy Blake, don't you dare, don't ever try"

"So... Clarke Griffin, the most brave and badass girl I've ever met, is scared of a few tickles" A step

"Tragic" Another step

"I'm honestly disappointed" Another step

"Bellamy no..." but she couldn't finish her phrase, a loud laugh prevented it. Bellamy is not even touching her but she can't stop to laugh.

Her laugh is the most beautiful sound that Bellamy has heard in a long time. She looks so young and full of life. That laugh could heal him, and maybe he could heal her too. Maybe they could heal together.

"No, no please..." She laughs, and then trips over a branch but there Bellamy is. His hand on her back "I got you".

and that was the moment.

You know, many times you have internalized it, slowly. It's like a process, just happens and is a part of you, but you don't realize it, or you're too busy for thinking about that or, as happened to Clarke, the fact scares you so much that you tries to push that idea far away from you until you cannot avoid it, and she can't avoid him anymore. It's him and has always been him.

He.

He is her person.

He is not perfect, he was an idiot in the first weeks, and he is too protective, which gets on her nerves (she, secretly, adores it though) but she's deeply in love with him.

She don't know when it's happened, but she's in love with the guy who would be able to give up his ration to feed a hungry dog. She's in love with the best person in the world.

He is the only one who has always been by her side, even when she didn't deserve it. The only one who accepted her, who didn't try to change her. With him she can be herself, doesn't have to pretend to be something she is not. She doesn't have to be a strong leader, can be Clarke, just Clarke, and there's no need for bows, fancy clothes or perfect rooms. She would be happy sleeping rough in the middle of a forest with no more than a jacket to keep off the cold if he is with her. If he is with her everything is fine.

He is the only one who told her "You don't have to do this alone" and not only said it, he also showed it. Bellamy is not a man of words, he is a man of action. He never said that he loved her but she doesn't need it, she knows it because he has showed it, many times, and with facts. Facts are more valid than words. She used to believe in people's words but people use their words to lie and to betray you, now she prefers to believe in facts.

He is the only one who has made her laugh out loud for first time on the Earth. He makes her happy and she would wish to make him happy too.

....and she will.

If she has to remind him each day how amazing and how much of a good man he is, she will. If she has to spend hours showing him how important is he for her, she will. If she has to expend all her energy showing him how much she loves him she will, because he deserves it, he deserves be loved and all the happiness of this damn world.

His hand is still on her back and their faces are separated by a few centimetres.

Clarke just stares at him, allowing herself a moment to appreciate his beauty. The contrast between his tone of skin and his blue t-shirt is simply perfect and she is so close that could count all his freckles, are like constellations scattered across his face. His hair was a mess and stuck up in all directions but she loves that he never cared about that. She just wants to run her fingers through his curls. His eyes, his look, she doesn't know exactly what is but she could easily lose herself in his eyes for hours. His gaze is so deep, intense, warm, honest... Clarke will never understand why people prefer light eyes, his dark eyes are the most beautiful thing that she has ever seen. Last, his lips, fleshy.... and kissable.

She bites her lip and looks for his look. Bellamy can't breathe, can't move but still, he holds her gaze. Was it hope? Was it desire? Was it love? or maybe... all at once?

Clarke moves a bit forward. Bellamy had not moved and the distance between their lips was short, too short, so she decides to close it.

It was a sweet, innocent, tender and brief kiss. A soft touch between their lips. She steps back and examines his face. Clarke wanted to be sure that he wanted this too. Bellamy's eyelids flutter like every time he is surprised by a sign of affection but she doesn't know how to interpret his facial expression so is about to apologize when she feels his lips on hers.

And yes, they poured all the tension, angst, love, friendship, life, fears, wishes, feelings of months into that kiss.

It's a slow, leisurely and long kiss, a bit doubtful and shy at first, but increasingly deep and confident, kind of like their relationship. Bellamy had kissed many girls but never one who he is in love. Also, Clarke is not only the girl who he is in love, but also the only one who, when everything falls apart and there is only darkness keeps trusting in him, keeps seeing light in him. He can cry when he's with her because she knows his fears better than anyone and she shows him the weaknesses that she keeps hidden from the rest of the world. Finding a person that you can be yourself is pretty unusual, he's never had something like that with someone and it's quite a special thing.

It's a natural, hopeful, wanted and happy kiss. Clarke has shared kisses too, with girls and guys, but never with someone who she has a deep connection. She always has kissed people that she didn't really know and their kisses were forced by the situation, because she felt she could lose them, or because she had to say goodbye, or because she was looking for comfort or feeling something.

Her kiss with Bellamy is totally different.

She wanted to kiss him and she knows that today, tomorrow, the next day... he is going to be with her. She had kissed him because loves him and wants to be with him today, tomorrow, the next day...until the end of the world, whenever this happens, 2 months, 5 months or maybe with luck, years.

It's not a kiss of goodbye, gratitude or compassionate like the previous ones.

It's a kiss of I'm here with you, I need you and I love you. I want to wake up with you every morning and I want to be the reason why you smile. You are my present and my future. I chose you because I want to spend my life with you and because you're everything. You're real, we're real and can be happy.

The kiss ends and Clarke is crying but for first time in her life is from happiness. They stare at each other, unable to say anything. They don't want to break the moment so they just look at each other as if nothing else in this world existed. Just them.

They listen their friends at a distance. They're laughing and arguing about who has won the bet about their kiss. Clarke can't believe it, her cheeks begin to glow and he is trying so hard not to laugh. She buries her face in his chest and stifles a laugh.

Bellamy is the one who talks first. "The world's going to end so, first we're going to kill our friends but then we are going to do whatever the hell we want ok? What do you want to do?"

Clarke lifts her face and looks at him. She looks so beautiful. Her rosy cheeks, her messy waves, her bright eyes... and there is only truth and love in them when she says "All I want is to love you and to make you happy"

and now Bellamy is the one who is crying. A tear runs across his face. "Ok, but only if I can do the same with you. Deal?"

Clarke doesn't answer, instead she seals their deal with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first (and probably my last fanfiction xD). I'm not good at English, I know there are many mistakes so I'm sorry but I wanted to talk about Bellamy and Clarke and their "journeys" separately and to explain how their first kiss could reflect their relationship. I don't know.... I just wanted to put my thoughts in writing. Ps: Imagination isn't my strong suit haha but I hope someone enjoy this fic. I'd be happy with that.


End file.
